For the record, I did not tell this joke during this trip. In fact, I told this joke a long time ago with Lola and Lolo when I was with Keren, Zoe, and Ekko.
However, I never got a chance to put that joke in. So the title of long-awaited is for my waiting. Not anyone else’s waiting. 😀
Jokes not done yet, and I think I shaved it down to 15 minutes just for my parent’s sake.
↓ Transcript
Panel 1 (Ekko, Leezet, Lola, Errol, and Lolo are in the car) -
Errol: Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived an ugly step-sister called Leezet.
Leezet: SHUT UP!!
Ekko: Jokes don't start with 'Once Upon a Time'!
Panel 2 -
Errol: This step-sister was a little lonely, because her personality wasn't conducive to acquiring friends of any sort. So after another Friday night of wild and hedonistic wall-staring debauchery, Leezet set her mind to buying a pet. Leezet's previous procurements of pet purchasing produced plentiful problems and predicaments (which is beyond the scope of this particular joke), but she put all of that in the past and went down to her local pet shop, Big Al's. Big Al's was a mammoth of a store with a menagerie of animals ranging from sharks to tarantulas. Leezet wasn't sure what type of animal she wanted, but she knew that there was no better place than Big Al's, so she grabbed her favourite walking shoes, put on some pants, (in exactly that order, resulting in a departure time later than she wanted) and sallied forth to Big Al's. Unfortunately, it was closed, because she spent too long of a time donning her clothing, so she went back home and resolved herself to try again. The next morning, Leezet gave herself plenty of time to get dressed, and by three o'clock that afternoon, she found herself at Big Al's. She walked in and let out a short breath. The selection was astounding. She didn't even know what type of animal she wanted, but now she wasn't lacking for choice. She went up to the counter and asked for Big Al. The lady at the counter smiled and thought to herself it was going to be one of 'those' days, but still, with a deftness and skill higher than her paygrade, she steered the conversation to the type of animal Leezet wanted to purchase. Leezet wasn't sure, and the lady brought up a small box she held under the counter. "How about this?" she asked. "I want a pet, not a box," said Leezet, but the lady pointed out that there was a pet in the box. Excitedly, Leezet looked inside of the box and saw small black eyes on a thin body peering back at her. It had light brown fur, but its chest was a snowy white. "It is adorable! I'll take it! Is it a fish?" asked Leezet. "No, it's a weasel," said the lady. Leezet pulled out some cash, threw it at the lady, and ran home with her pet before the lady changed her mind. She burst open the door, excited for a new friend, and dumped the box over as the weasel tumbled out. "Hello, little weasel, I shall name you Willy," said Leezet. "Thanks," said the weasel. "You can talk?" asked Leezet. "It's more suprising you can," said Willy the weasel. "Oh, we should have lots of fun as friends," said Leezet and she gave the weasel a shot of soju. "What's this?" asked the weasel. "Are you Korean?" asked Leezet. "No," said the weasel. "It's soju," said Leezet. Willy the weasel took a sip, and instantly fell in love. Where had soju been all its life? It drank the entire bottle, and asked for more. Leezet, pleased with her new drinking buddy, grabbed another bottle of soju, and they spent the night imbibing and laughing as they revelled in newfound friendship. This continued for a number of years, until one day, Leezet came home with her six pack of soju bottles only to find Willy on the floor. "Willy! What's wrong?" asked Leezet. "I don't feel too well." Leezet grabbed Willy and brought it to the vet. The vet's name was Bert, and Bert sad, "I'm sorry, Leezet, but it looks like your weasel has gone into chronic liver failure." Leezet yelled, "Nooooo!", but no one stared for they were all in the same boat — it seems this disease was contagious. "what can I do?" asked Leezet. "You need to quit cold turkey, no more alcohol," said Bert. "Does Willy need surgery?" asked Leezet. "If we perform surgery, you need to make sure Willy doesn't drink from here on forward," said Bert. "But doc, no more soju?" asked Willy. Bert looked at Willy, "You can talk?" he asked. "I can," said Willy. "No more soju," said the doctor. "Just kill me now, doc," said Willy. "There will be no killing in this vet!" screamed Leezet and she ran out of the room. "But it's my vet," said Bert. Leezet ran home, tears streaming down her cheeks intermingling with drool and snot leaking from other orifices on her face. "It's not fair, we didn't do anything wrong," said Leezet. "I shall quit drinking," said the weasel. "But can you do it? Even the thought of an existence without the comforting haze of inebriation is too much to bear," said Leezet. "It's okay, I'm a weasel, not a bear," said Willy. "That's the spirit," and both Leezet and the weasel quit drinking that night.
Panel 3 -
Errol: If that's too small to read, it's in the transcript below. We're in a webcomic, remember mum?
Lola: Oh, you be quiet there.
Leezet: You're so mean!!
Errol: Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived an ugly step-sister called Leezet.
Leezet: SHUT UP!!
Ekko: Jokes don't start with 'Once Upon a Time'!
Panel 2 -
Errol: This step-sister was a little lonely, because her personality wasn't conducive to acquiring friends of any sort. So after another Friday night of wild and hedonistic wall-staring debauchery, Leezet set her mind to buying a pet. Leezet's previous procurements of pet purchasing produced plentiful problems and predicaments (which is beyond the scope of this particular joke), but she put all of that in the past and went down to her local pet shop, Big Al's. Big Al's was a mammoth of a store with a menagerie of animals ranging from sharks to tarantulas. Leezet wasn't sure what type of animal she wanted, but she knew that there was no better place than Big Al's, so she grabbed her favourite walking shoes, put on some pants, (in exactly that order, resulting in a departure time later than she wanted) and sallied forth to Big Al's. Unfortunately, it was closed, because she spent too long of a time donning her clothing, so she went back home and resolved herself to try again. The next morning, Leezet gave herself plenty of time to get dressed, and by three o'clock that afternoon, she found herself at Big Al's. She walked in and let out a short breath. The selection was astounding. She didn't even know what type of animal she wanted, but now she wasn't lacking for choice. She went up to the counter and asked for Big Al. The lady at the counter smiled and thought to herself it was going to be one of 'those' days, but still, with a deftness and skill higher than her paygrade, she steered the conversation to the type of animal Leezet wanted to purchase. Leezet wasn't sure, and the lady brought up a small box she held under the counter. "How about this?" she asked. "I want a pet, not a box," said Leezet, but the lady pointed out that there was a pet in the box. Excitedly, Leezet looked inside of the box and saw small black eyes on a thin body peering back at her. It had light brown fur, but its chest was a snowy white. "It is adorable! I'll take it! Is it a fish?" asked Leezet. "No, it's a weasel," said the lady. Leezet pulled out some cash, threw it at the lady, and ran home with her pet before the lady changed her mind. She burst open the door, excited for a new friend, and dumped the box over as the weasel tumbled out. "Hello, little weasel, I shall name you Willy," said Leezet. "Thanks," said the weasel. "You can talk?" asked Leezet. "It's more suprising you can," said Willy the weasel. "Oh, we should have lots of fun as friends," said Leezet and she gave the weasel a shot of soju. "What's this?" asked the weasel. "Are you Korean?" asked Leezet. "No," said the weasel. "It's soju," said Leezet. Willy the weasel took a sip, and instantly fell in love. Where had soju been all its life? It drank the entire bottle, and asked for more. Leezet, pleased with her new drinking buddy, grabbed another bottle of soju, and they spent the night imbibing and laughing as they revelled in newfound friendship. This continued for a number of years, until one day, Leezet came home with her six pack of soju bottles only to find Willy on the floor. "Willy! What's wrong?" asked Leezet. "I don't feel too well." Leezet grabbed Willy and brought it to the vet. The vet's name was Bert, and Bert sad, "I'm sorry, Leezet, but it looks like your weasel has gone into chronic liver failure." Leezet yelled, "Nooooo!", but no one stared for they were all in the same boat — it seems this disease was contagious. "what can I do?" asked Leezet. "You need to quit cold turkey, no more alcohol," said Bert. "Does Willy need surgery?" asked Leezet. "If we perform surgery, you need to make sure Willy doesn't drink from here on forward," said Bert. "But doc, no more soju?" asked Willy. Bert looked at Willy, "You can talk?" he asked. "I can," said Willy. "No more soju," said the doctor. "Just kill me now, doc," said Willy. "There will be no killing in this vet!" screamed Leezet and she ran out of the room. "But it's my vet," said Bert. Leezet ran home, tears streaming down her cheeks intermingling with drool and snot leaking from other orifices on her face. "It's not fair, we didn't do anything wrong," said Leezet. "I shall quit drinking," said the weasel. "But can you do it? Even the thought of an existence without the comforting haze of inebriation is too much to bear," said Leezet. "It's okay, I'm a weasel, not a bear," said Willy. "That's the spirit," and both Leezet and the weasel quit drinking that night.
Panel 3 -
Errol: If that's too small to read, it's in the transcript below. We're in a webcomic, remember mum?
Lola: Oh, you be quiet there.
Leezet: You're so mean!!
Typos:
gaver herself
but the pointed out [The what?]
It drink the entire bottle, [drank]
Even the though of an existence [Thought]
And fixed! Thank you! ^_^
i was actually wondering if you could ever do a visual troll and then you say “If that [font is] too small to read, it’s in the transcript below.” Well done, sir.
If someone really wants a bigger font, they can hold the Ctrl key and scroll up.
I didn’t like the fact that I would cut down the joke for the sake of the comic. 😀